my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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