Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
