I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
