i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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