My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
