Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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