I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
