no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
