Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
