i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
im on a boat
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