I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
