I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
only you would photoshop your dick
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
