I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
two words...techno handjob
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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