do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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