so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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