I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
