haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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