I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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