Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Randomize
