so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
