He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
