So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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