but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
