East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
