why didn't you poke me back
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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