turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
