I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
