woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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