I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize