Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
why do cheetos always look like penises
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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