Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
