i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize