Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
