just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize