just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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