Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
