Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
