1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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