haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
