He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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