Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
