..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
