...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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