Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
