I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
