yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
