Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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