my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Acid is not a monday night drug
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
