ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
