hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
