I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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