She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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