conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
