Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
