i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize