i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize