Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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