Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
