Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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