woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
