I could make wine with my vomit
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
