she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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