Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
