we're blogging at a bar
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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