he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
