Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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